Are you a victim of fake friend?

Have you ever been in a relationship where you know everything about your relationship feels right.  I mean you and your partner love each other and it shows, you feel confident with this person, your self-esteem could be no higher.  You both are in a position in your life where you are accomplished or both of you are striving for that high level end result. I mean you all are so into each other that, you kind of coordinate when going on dates or outings. I did that in high school, but hey nothings wrong with an adult couple who still feel the need to dress alike.

Your secure in your relationship is the bottom line, and then you have your “friend” or family member who’s constantly pointing out negatives that are non existent. Every time they are around you and your significant other they are saying little things like.

  • If that was my man I wouldn’t feel comfortable with him doing that

  • You let your man/woman go places like that

  • My man/woman would never do something like that

  • How do you know your man/woman is not cheating on you

  • You sure your man/woman is not on the down low

  • No man/woman is that nice to his/her partner unless they doing something on the side

  • Are you sure your man/woman is really at work doing work related things

Please don’t fall into the trap of the mind whirlwind. Don’t allow the negative thoughts of those who claim to be closest to you distort your view of your relationship, when you know it’s a good healthy relationship.  Now if you are one of those people who know your relationship is questionable, then listen (and you know who you are.) this article is not for you.

Most times when you have people in your life like that ,they are jealous,. and that jealousy oozes out of their mouth and actions.

My experience with that, came with starting this blog and podcast.  I had that one family member who questioned every topic we blogged. Every comment was negative like “Oh you must think your husband cheating” or “Women flirting with your man and he acting like he don’t see it, he know he see it and he probably started it.” Sometimes I have to remind myself that the person who is judging my relationship is not a relationship expert by any means.  Their relationships are so “messy” you don’t understand how they are married.

I deal with folks like this, by

  • Not discussing anything relationship based

  • Pointing out their past relationship flaws, which gives them no merit on the subject

  • Remind them that you trust and respect your partner and insecurities only complicate things, suggest they take notes (that’s a smart aleck side remark)

  • Or simply say “why are you always talking negative about my relationship, are you so unhappy in your life that you have to destroy mine?” that ought to shut them up.

Again if you know you are in a toxic relationship or maybe you don’t know, but you question things about your partner all the time, then this article is not for you.

Share your thoughts below.

 

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