Congratulations it is the beginning of a wonderful relationship. You have married the one, and your ears are closed from advice. You know everything about married life, because you are in love and your partner has chosen to be with you forever.
Forever and ever and ever. I mean that’s why they call it happily ever after, right?
If you want your marriage to survive beyond the first year you have to be open to some advice from the marriage veterans who have been there done that. I don’t mean your gossip Suzy or know everything about women Tom, I mean your seniors who have been at this for over 20 years and their marriage is strong.
When people see my husband and I together they can’t believe we are still in love after all of these years. Yes, we have had our issues, but realistically he is the only one who I can see myself with until the end. I get the sense he feels the same about me. There are some things that I have learned along this journey, I think is worth sharing, for those who want that long lasting relationship.
So I would like to share
The 5 Marriage Tips that every newlywed should know
- Communicate. Always express to your partner how you feel. If something is off or you don’t like something they did, tell them, being considerate of their feelings and as if you want to resolve whatever is wrong. Don’t blame or point the finger, look for a solution, together. Continue to share your day with each other, confide in each other, and every conversation does not have to be about bills or the to do list, make your time meaningful and sincere. The most important thing is to be open with each other and don’t hold back things that can fester and grow, because that can turn into dislike and hate before you know it.
- Your Business is your business. Remember when there are problems in your marriage you do not need to go talk to everyone with an opinion. First talk to each other and then just one person you can confide in and who will tell you the truth. As people we tend to run to the one person who will always tell us we are right or the one who says what we want to hear. Be honest with yourself and be open to real suggestions that are about helping and growing your marriage. When one to many people are in your business that causes problems in your marriage, because believe me it escalates with each person who knows, and now you have Aunt Helen over at your house trying to go all in on your husband or wife.
- Continue to do things alone or with friends, within reason. It is okay to maintain a healthy friendship with others outside of your marriage. Continue to do the things you did before you got married, that are respectful to your marriage. That does not mean continue going to meet up spots or ladies night at the strip joint. It means maintain your friendships with those who respect your marriage and go out and do things with those friends. Don’t give up girls night out or Sunday night mens sports day. Continue to do the things that make you happy, rather with other friends or alone. You don’t need to be together all the time to make a marriage work, actually having time apart only increases your want to be with each other more.
- Continue to date each other. Being married should only add to the excitement of being together. If you all had date nights before marriage, continue to do those date nights. Plan to do something outside of the house at the least twice a month but at the most once or twice a week. This is important to not getting into a rut or a boring married life routine. Just because you are married does not mean you have learned everything you need to know about each other. I mean in a perfect world you should, but in reality do you ever really know everything there is to know about a person, even the one your sleeping with? I’m just saying. So yes, continue to date each other and find things that you all can enjoy together.
- Be friends. I think the biggest part of a healthy marriage is friendship. Remain friends, continue to fall in love with each other. Make each other your best friend, the one you confide in and give your all to. Know that you can depend on each other and tell each other anything. That friendship will get you through the toughest times and intensify the greatest times.
Marriage does not have to mean solitude and boredom, it should be a continuation of what you have already learned and loved about each other. Use these tips and add your own, because although marriage is beautiful it can also test you. Be the percentage that can celebrate a 25 year anniversary with true love and admiration for each other, just like when you were newlyweds.