Do you ever find yourself thinking about
you had done things differently in your life. Where would you be, who would you be with, and would you be happier.
That little what if voice can sometimes bring emotions that confuse how you look at your life or how you look at yourself and your accomplishments or lack there of.
- I had finished school
- I married my high school/college sweetheart
- I didn’t get married
- I didn’t have children
- I took that job
- I pursued that relationship
- I forgave my partner for cheating and decided to stay
- I moved away
- I didn’t have that affair
The list could go on and on for so many situations in your life. I do find myself saying what if I didn’t start my family so young or married the man I have been with all my adult life, where would I be right now.
I can never know the answer to that all I know is that I am happy with what I have right now. I am happy with my marriage, my children, my career, the good times, and the bad times because it is who I am. It is what makes me, me.
Do I wish I had more money and time to enjoy the finer things in life, of course. Would I change what I have now for the what ifs, absolutely not. Those what ifs could have put me in a life where I was miserable or wishing for something more.
I do know that I have a loving husband with flaws who has the ability to make me laugh and unfortunately cry, but he has my heart. I do know that my children complete me, they are my will for living and why I get up every morning and go to a job that gives me great reward but bigger headaches. I do know I love myself and I am comfortable with what I do know and I will leave the what ifs for the moments when I am upset about something I cannot change.
Imagine but don’t dwell
Don’t dwell on the what ifs it changes you and your attitude. You start to give your life the stank face and question everything about your life. If you are happy 80% of the time you are doing good.
I believe It is ok to think about the what ifs when you are disappointed or questioning your life, but don’t stay in that space make your life what you want it to be. Be present and diligent. Only you can change your circumstances, but going backward or thinking about things that you cannot change or moments that will not repeat is a waste of time.
Leave the what ifs as what ifs and don’t make them blueprints for your future.