Couples Therapy

I have been thinking about this topic from time to time.  It’s not that I think we need couples therapy, it’s just that I think about its purpose.

• Do you go to couples therapy when things are great and you want to keep it that way
• Do you go to couples therapy when you feel the spark in your relationship starting to fizz out
• Do you go to couples therapy when things are not as good as they use to be and you want your relationship to work
• Do you go to couples therapy when things are bad and you just can’t stand the sight of the other person
• Do you go to couples therapy when you feel your relationship is beyond repair and you just want to end it now

I would say my relationship is good right now, but I think sometimes our communication is off.  It’s not really a distraction in the relationship I just wish sometimes he understood me better.  When I feel misunderstood I just drop whatever it is I’m trying to get him to understand.  I feel this solves nothing and the problem will present itself again because we didn’t resolve it the first time.

I wonder if couples therapy is what I need or do “I” just need therapy?

It may be a question that seems simple enough to answer, but when there is a problem in my relationship I like to take a look at myself first just in case I need to readjust my attitude to get a better result.

I mean maybe my issues can be resolved through a couples retreat, but then again when you are taken out of your situation and put in a beautiful place where all the responsibility of marriage and parenting is left behind the result should always be positive.  It’s when you get back home and all of the problems you left behind are still there.  Maybe you would have learned a technique that helps with those problems, but what if it doesn’t. Who do you talk to?

I believe in therapy. Sometimes it is healthy to allow someone else to look at your relationship and tell you what they see. Not your favorite cousin or your best friend, someone who is not invested.

This also allows you to be in a place where the person who is helping you is not biased and they are looking in with fresh eyes.  This is your chance to put it all on the table.  If your relationship is worth saving and you need help couples therapy or therapy alone could be your answer.

This may not work for every relationship and if your relationship is one-sided (meaning only one of you want to be in it) it may be time to just separate and move on.  Trust me after a marriage or relationship gets to a point where you know it’s over therapy for yourself may be your answer.

If you have any experience good or bad with therapy, share. You may save a marriage or relationship.