When your partner is not religious
How do you keep a relationship together when only one of you are religious? I ask myself this questions many times, because I am married to someone who does not follow religion of any denomination. I grew up with parents who periodically went to church and classified themselves as Baptist. As I grew older I grew away from religion, but when I started having children I found my place in religion again. It was a choice I made without the influences of my parents or friends. I built a community of friends whose belief in God were like mine. I classified myself and my children as Christians, people who believe their is a God and that Jesus died on the cross for our sins.
I did all of this without ever thinking about my husbands place in religion and how this may affect our children. I pray every morning, I pray over my children, I pray before going on long trips, I pray for loved ones, I pray for God’s presence in my life. I attend church periodically (the crowds are not easy for me) and I don’t force my children to attend, but I do talk to them about God often and ask them questions about their thoughts. I read the bible (mostly searching for specific scriptures) and I I encourage my children to read children bibles or religious short stories.
My husband does not make it hard for me to share this with my kids, but he is not that supportive either. Sometimes he will bring science into the mix or say things like “why are you thanking God I am the one who did the work.” He goes through the motions when I pray with the family over meals and going on long trips but that is all I can get.
He has good morals but he tells me often we will not have life together after death because he knows where he is going.
He will not attend church and sometimes I will ask, but his answer remains no. I have tried to change his views but I have accepted that I cannot. I pray for him and I hold onto hope, but fortunately it is a flaw I can live with.
I do worry how my children will turn out from their parents being of “different yolk” but they do try to understand both of our views and luckily I am winning at the moment.
What about you, is religion a big factor in how you chose your mate or is it a factor at all, and to what extent? Please share in comments.
